Taxi Ettiquette

 We do field many calls daily. We try to take care of our VIPS first. These are the customers who have been with us since we began Abraxi Taxi almost 10 years ago. Our next priority would be locals followed by the many tourists who visit us here in Saint Augustine Florida. However; if we did indeed pick you up and dropped you off somewhere here in the Ancient City, we feel an obligation not to leave you stranded: no matter where or what time. So please listen to what the dispatcher is putting down to ensure your safe and timely return trip home.

We do not surge price. Generally, what you paid coming in will be the same amount you fork over on the return trip. What I would like to do here is address a little taxi etiquette here on what the dispatcher needs to know and what sets apart the better client is the ability to articulate and listen.

The superior customer will give us the location, the number of people in the party and the location to where they want to be taken. Sometimes they may call ahead and set up what we label a time call. If they are in a noisy spot they will have the courtesy to find a quieter spot before calling. Now when we pull up at the allotted time these incredible humans will be ready to go. If you give us the “I will right out finger”, you may get the “Merry Christmas middle digit”, in return. The most exceptional taxi cab rider will be punctual. These wondrous creatures would never attempt to eat or smoke in their divine chariots. And all personal hygiene tasks will be completed before your designated driver arrives.

Upon decabbing and after paying the freight these awesome demi-gods will thoroughly check that they have all their personal belongings. If for some reason Houston has a problem and the driver has experienced some technical trouble, they are eagerly waiting by their communication device anxiously awaiting our call and promptly answering their phone or replying to text messages,for those infrequent times we may be running behind. They never call us repeatedly as if we can make our taxis drive any faster, control our quirky Bridge of Lions, or crazy traffic patterns around the Plaza De Constitucion. When they do call us, it is from a phone from this century that is crisp and clear, yet never tells the dispatcher Merry Christmas. Now we know sometimes the best laid plans go awry but calling and cancelling cab service as we are pulling up into your driveway is unacceptable and you will suffer apocryphal retribution. Sometimes the superior customer may ask us a price and decide that we may be too steep. I understand some cab companies charge less, but, please never tell me what another company charges: just take that company.

The keys to becoming a superior taxi fare are brevity, clarity, punctuality, generosity, loyalty, patience and good natured-ness. We understand being under the weather and just having one of those days, however; being miserable, irascible and ill-mannered every day just can not help your personal mental health or help you move forward in this wonderful journey we call life. Remember the superior taxicab client never uses ride shares or at a minimum will not utter that criminal empires name Uber!

Eating Babies will stop any immigration full stop!

Eating Babies will stop any immigration full stop!

My days have been hectic and as I try to gain power, I realize that my ultimate boss really wants to make a statement on immigrants, the crueler the better. I remember that he is very happy when people are dehumanized. And he never seems a more stable genius then when suffering immigrants are the daily headline. The harsher the environment the better off we at the White House are at least for the short term.

I was able to find a ‘Modest Proposal’ from one of the internet’s first tweeters, Jonathan Swift, he railed against the poor Irish people and was trying to build a wall to keep them out of his country. We will build the wall and have the haggis loving Scots pay for it from a tariff on golf resorts.

The darn Scots reneged, and Mel Gibson told him to bugger off, so he with a stiffened upper lip, devised a plan to help both sides. Not only would the Irish immigrants be able to feed themselves better they could also reduce trade deficits by selling their extra children as a gourmet item to our elites for fancy parties. Puts new meaning into Mexican cuisine; or, save to indulge in those other darker appetites, for later in life. Remember they changed from Penn State to BYU ‘bring them young’.

Swift would later be granted trademarks on cooking attire, methods and the first Suzy homemaker oven. ‘ I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasie, or a ragoust.’

Mr. Swift was one of the first Twitter trolls that believed domestic violence would decrease as husbands would be reluctant to treat the women poorly as they now could sell their precious cargo. He also believed that abortions would end with mothers bringing forth a needed commodity. The boss is going to love him.

He blamed the mothers and women for all the ills of the world. And these young women could also be persuaded to perform massages with happy endings.

Many people tell me that he was also an original Evangelical Christian, being ordained in the state-run Anglican Church, perhaps we can somehow start this practice over here, overturn separation of church and state, via executive fiat. @swiftlyconsumeyoungflesh would fit in very well with the current religious/political climate. ‘There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will prevent those abortions, and that horrid practice of women murdering their bastard children, alas, too frequent among us, sacrificing the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expense than the shame.’

This should work on many fronts. We certainly will stop illegal entry into our country, once we separate the family’s, because love the one you eat is one hell of a deterrent Secondly the misogyny should certainly be appealing, lastly we can start a religious state and domestic abuse and abortion will be all but eliminated.

My guy loves the stock market so we could buy and sell these children on the exchanges. There might be a separate market for white meat. Think of all the start ups the capitalist can create. Besides the long-term benefits for the rich pedophile, my favorite is baby skin purses, or a nice whiskey flask for those chilly hunting weekends?

Now how can I get this idea traction? All I need is a retweet from JR., or some other social media giants assembled at our summit. Talk about throwing red meat to hoards! Eating and selling babies solves so many problems and should ensure victory in 2020.By the time my guy leaves office the statutes of limitations should have run its course for our crimes against humanity, if not then my pardon is in the safe.

Florida Taxi Driver: Uber Drivers Union and Why they should Unionize

Florida Taxi Driver: Uber Drivers Union and Why they should Unionize

Abraxi Taxi

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Abraxi Taxi zone rates

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Abraxi Helo-Taxi

July 4th in Saint Augustine Florida is a taxicab owners worst nightmare.For the drivers it can be a bonanza as a majority of the population feels in need of a cab company.
The fireworks are rather impressive and many flock to the Ancient City to enjoy the display.However; traffic soon backs up and even the most knowledgeable hackney can get lost in a labrinth of gridlock.
To avoid these delays and provide timely service Abraxi Taxi will be parking our cab vans and using the new Nissan taxicopter.Our taxi pilots are reasonably familiar with the innovative air taxis,so not to worry, as an added safety feature each vehicle will have pontoons attached. In case of driver error we can emergency land in the Matanzas river.
For your enjoyment will be providing an open bar, complete buffet and other party favors.We encourage our customers to dress appropriately and to wear very comfortable shoes.I promise to hover as close to your destination as possible before dropping you,our taxi fare.
So,when you are sitting at the Tini Martini Bar watching bumper to bumper traffic,be assured that the Abraxi air transport is just seconds away.
Visit our website for rates, reviews, helipad locations and the safe grassy knolls near your home.Mr.Scott will be the dispatcher when all else fails we will put the transporter into service.Scotty,beam me up:the taxi services in Saint Augustine Florida are overloaded and off the grid; and I am running out of di-lithium crystals captain.
Please enjoy Independence Day in the nation's oldest city.Be prepared for long waits and impossible traffic.Do wear comfortable shoes and be prepared to do some walking.To those who we are able to take into town we will do our best to get you safely back home Abraxi Taxi currently does not own any type of flying machine but on this day in particular sure wish I did!

Taxi service Saint Augustine Florida

Registered with sunbiz.org

Fully comply with Saint Augustine Fl.regulations

City medallion attached to proper vehicles

Insured properly,all licensing current

Alcohol and drug free workplace

Impeccable and timely service

Knowledgeable and mostly friendly drivers

Clean cars and cold air

No strangers riding shotgun

Taxicab vans that are comfortable

Longest tenured independent company in town

Has a business licence

Files corporate taxes

Spends our money in Saint Augustine

So if you can handle the truth take the time and do some research before choosing a local cab company or airport shuttle.It is costly to provide the correct insurance and to maintain our fleet to the precepts that Saint Augustine city council has decreed.

However;if you wish to gamble life and limb over a few dubloons, Abraxi Taxi should not be your first choice taxi service.Competition is the American way.It is healthy and a boon for the consumer.All we want is a level playing field.Hang those pirates from the gallows and tell the gypsy cabs to walk the plank.For honest transportation providers;full speed ahead!

I am not sure if the threat to our way of life comes from the outside with taxicab companies like Uber,or from within the borders of Saint Johns county,but a storm is brewing and Abraxi Taxi is a safe harbor to moor your ship to.